Dye

I came here to die
As I rush to the climax—
Adventures approach.

Sobre los tiroteos en Dallas

So I've been following the whole police issue back in the US. I haven't heard anyone mention this, no analyst, no politician, no one, and maybe I'm wrong but I can't help but feel as if this whole issue sort of mirrors what has been happening in El Salvador for a while. Some of you have read about the rising in violence last year, and one of the unspoken reasons for this was a number of attacks on policemen and army.

Now, you can simplify the whole issue and talk about gang violence, which is not a terribly skewed view, but then again, you also have the big issue of abuse of authority happening in a systematic way, and directed towards youth in urban and rural areas of El Salvador. It's not only gangs who terrorize youth, but the authority. Then the youth organize and start retaliating against a problem that can be solved in a different matter. The US, too, has wounds too deep that span from hundreds of years, and needs to heal them before moving on, instead of supossing that things will be okay if we don't address them. Violence from one side to the other will form a cycle as long as we keep calling on racism and social classes and all these good-hearted attempts on justice that insist of standing on this sense of otherness that separates us based on social constructs.

If these events don't serve to prove the fact that social constructs cannot save humanity and bring about a real sense of justice and morality, and the fact that we have to turn to trascendence in oter to make sense of who we are and our real value as human beings, then we're doomed to repeat these issues over and over again.

Flashback

El otro día me puse a leer el blog entero. Enterito, o al menos eso esperaba. La verdad es que, aunque algunos años son un chiste (casi no he escrito durante algunas etapas de mi vida), otros están llenos de cosas interesantes. Es como una libreta de ideas filosóficas, pero muchas veces sin agenda y muy, muy caótico. No es que no tenga nada ocurriéndome, sino que mientras más leo este pedazo de mi vida, me doy cuenta de que no tengo realmente una línea sobre la cual escribir: a veces cuento sobre mi vida, a veces mando mensajes ocultos a mí mismo y parecería botar la clave (la mitad de posts crípticos de este blog fueron hace tanto que ya ni recuerdo a qué se refieren), etc. Lo que sí es seguro, es que hay ideas que me gustaría que algún día tomen y pongan en un libro.

Admitámoslo, estamos en la era del Internet: a nadie le importa que el 99% de lo que haya hecho sea basura si podemos hacer que al menos algo se haga viral.

Error

Lo que temo más no es al fracaso de mis esfuerzos, sino a la futilidad de mis motivos. ¿Quién podría pues, decirme que lo que hago lo hago por una razón? ¿Cómo podría saber del propósito eterno de aquello que se detuvo a medias? Lo único que queda es un instante eterno, suspendido en la cuerda que se curva con el peso de mis preguntas.

Compromise

It's not what comes next
But that which remains unchanged
Greatest worth indeed.

Researching

I sometimes feel the urge to sneak
And peak inside this pen
Although I do not hope to turn again
But neither should you not
Because you did not want to turn again
In this mission to find inner truth.

Why would I hope that you hope
If I loathe the remaining desire
Why would I hope to resort
To a manic restrain from your side
For when I see what you may see
I see stray from the path in a slope.

Where else, shall I see you then
But the comfort zone of withered offense
--I must push back the fence?
No more astray-gone the shallow mind
For when you hoped to turn again
Tilted back the lens towards yourself.

Recibir

Siempre se dice que es más valioso dar que recibir, pero no se habla de lo duro que es preparar un corazón para aceptar eso que sabemos que no merecemos. Saber recibir es lo más difícil que enfrentaremos en nuestras vidas, porque nos recuerda de lo que no somos, y lo que no tenemos.